You are missing one comma in your sentence. The phrase Security Officer John Doe is considered an appositive. The definition of an appositive is “a word or word group that defines or further identifies the noun or noun phrase preceding it.” The rule in our Commas with Appositives blog says, “When the noun preceding the appositive provides sufficient identification on its own, use commas around the appositive.” Also, if South Parking Garage is the formal name of the parking garage, it should be capitalized. Otherwise, it should be lower cased.
Now that the basics of number style have been laid out, I bet that you can smell the exceptions miles away. [A beat, then exit stage right] ← Em Dashes and Ellipses: Closed or Spaced Out? Slashes: Uses and Restrictions → 9 Comments