Once again. I awoke with lights playing on my eyelids. At first I had little memory of what had happened, but one look at the group of people peering down at me brought the whole incident back to mind. The young boys were all clad in white uniforms and grinning quite lunatically at me. In. the high corner of the room, I saw a red crescent. Then the horrible little squirts started to call out for their seniors. Outside, I heard fresh gales of laughter . The brats were chortling. I was still clad in pajamas. Not knowing what else to do, I feigned unconsciousness again ... in no time in a relatively short time make a beeline for to straight to gales of laughter a forceful outburst
In All Those Camps For every particle of dust there was a name Not only when the sunlight reveals their properties floating in air that it is a phase through which they energize It is in the pulse of non-perceived awareness that their power utters every word in the primeval language once spoken in time. There are those I love dearly who do not believe there is any gift created by suffering loss. It is only when they are ready to let their arms brush against minute mouldered remains settled on cot posts, door jambs hospital beds and barbed-wire fences; when they journey to places wherein loved ones embrace them they can know joy from severed attachment I have watched them in their sleep When they dream, I believe tortured relatives sprinkle symbolice speech in pantomimes denied any sense in mornings Like ash, feelings well up from any past time as dead loved ones create moments the way a cat quietly arrives on what you’re reading to claim you for their own. I know when I awake on nights wherein I see no moon that stars will always shine from bones pulverized in all those camps I know now I can sing Kaddish only when charoset has once stuck in my throat.
by Diane Schmolka. first published in “The Ottawa Unitarian” Summer,1995